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Down again, as usual.

These last two weeks have been hell. I will not go into all the bad things that have happened lately in detail because I do not feel up to it. This is an entry to rant some of my upsetness...

I'm so lost, I don't know which end is up. I am jealous but not. Why do things get so darn complicated? I don't even know how I feel, is that possible? I feel so numb and upset but I don't know how to direct my feelings.

I've been there through thick and thin, but it never seems enough. I take second to a car. I take third when it comes to his car and friends. Though I've been there and tried to be patient for eight months who rides in the car first?

Why am I falling apart over someone? Why can't things be like they were before? I'm to the point I want nothing to do with anyone. No one. I want complete silence and solitude. It's beautiful outside yet I sit here crying. Why does everything that's once good in my life fall apart. There is no happy medium, just great or absolutely horrible. I really don't understand this. Why do I feel this way?


May. 5th, 2006 05:50 am (UTC)
Well since I really dont know whats going on exactly but I know it has to do with your boyfriend..But there is a happy medium, try looking at the little things instead of the big things..or the grey between the black and the white, which ever, all i know is dont revolve your life around a human being, as you know we're imperfect. But if anything talk to the bloke.

Though like i said, i dont know exactly whats going on so all that could just be babble =P cheer up cor, miss ya much

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